The Substance
by Awkwardauthor
Summary: After receiving a test tube with an unfamiliar liquid from a stranger, Emmett and Rosalie have a hilarious conversation trying to decide what to do with their new 'item.' Kinda a crack-fic, but it's funny all the way. Rosalie/Emmett


**Hi! This is something that I had to do for reading/language arts class as an assignment with my 2 teammates Amber and Lauren. We had to write a story using a bunch of selected words that our teacher chose. It could be as weird as we want as long as it was appropriate (This'll explain the randomness in the fic). I just changed the names from the original to Twilight characters. It's pretty short, but I wanted to post it on FF and see some feedback.**

**Note: Underlined words are the selected words we had to use. Most are pretty complicated, so look up the definition if you don't know the meaning. That way the story will make more sense.**

**Other than that... enjoy!**

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><p><span>The Substance<span>

"Wait, what?" Rosalie's voice echoed in the dark, almost empty room. "Repeat that for me. I got lost."

Emmett walked over to the corner of the room, where he flipped on the light switch, giving the room a more warmer, comfortable feeling.

"I said," he held up a test tube that held inside an unfamiliar green liquid. "This dude name Jacob walked up to me and asked if I wanted this. I didn't know what to do, so I just took it. Jacob said to me that this caustic thingy should be used for special purposes and if I didn't know what to do with it, then I should throw it away."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "That's the most stupidest thing that I've ever heard. I suggest you throw that whatever caustic thingy away."

"Hahahaha! Nah... I think I'll pour it on Jasper's head and see what it does."

"You wouldn't," Rosalie hissed over Emmett's malignant laughter. "That thing could be dangerous. We should verify it to see if it's any safe."

"We could... but I won't."

"But what if it gives off some crucible heat?"

"Then it's a new discovery for us. You know, you're saying some esoteric words right now."

"I know."

"Why?"

"Because I want to."

"Uh-huh." Emmett tapped his chin in a thoughtful matter. "Who knows, maybe if I pour it on the floor it might do some conflagration."

"Are you stupid? We'll die!"

"So? This is a monolith building. Not everything will be destroyed."

_But he doesn't know that _Rosalie thought.

"And-" Emmett prompted. "Maybe this thingy here has amalgam in it."

"That's grammatically wrong, you know."

"What else am I supposed to say?"

"Uh... that you're using some bombastic words. Plus you have malodorous hair."

"What?" Emmett exclaimed. rubbing his hand on his honey black hair and smelling his hand. "No it isn't."

"Giblets."

"What?"

"Sorry," Rosalie apologized. "Just had to fill in the moment."

Emmett sighed. "Whatever." He lifted the test tube to his nose and sniffed the liquid. "Damn it! This shit is so ghastly!"

"That's an understatement. It has a more uncanny sense than you do."

"Shut up."

"It's true."

"No it isn't. This thingy is so obscene."

"Fine," Emmett huffed. He lowered the test tube to his lips and drank the substance. "See how you like that!"

"What the-" Rosalie mumbled. "You really are stupid, you know."

"I know," he answered, throwing the test tube out the window. "Maelstrom."

"What?"

"Being random."

"Oh. You're still stupid, Emmett."

"I know," he grinned, looking out the window once more and looking at the shattered remains of the test tube. Suddenly, Emmett began coughing, his hand tightly clutching the pink window curtains.

"Help me, Rose."

"Why should I? I told you to throw it away in the first place."

"Just help me!"

"Fine," she grumbled, walking over to him and trying to give him the heimlich maneuver.

"Rose?"

"Yeah?"

"I-" he coughed harshly. "I like-"

"I like p-" Emmett slowly sank down on the floor and groaned. "-orn"

"Porn?"

"No, popcorn!" he yelled as he closed his eyes and his body fell limp, though he was still breathing evenly.

"Unconscious," Rosalie murmured. "You really are stupid, Emmett." She walked over to the open door and exited the room, looking over her shoulder once more.

_I wonder what I'll ever do with that boy._

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><p><strong>Like it? Normally I wouldn't be writing a RosalieEmmett fic, but the plot for this story fitted perfectly between them, and I couldn't help but use them. **

**Reviews? I might make more Silly Emmett and Hotheaded Rosalie fics in the future. They seem so fun to work with. :)**


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